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Charles Nicol's avatar

Good story, the dialogue could be more of the time, but otherwise pretty good.

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Ilmahn Nabri's avatar

I agree with you on the dialogue, I was trying to think of what manner would be more appropriate given the idea of the setting. I also wanted the Oread's speech to waver between mysterious and effervescent to more down to earth and vulgar even rudimentary. A short story really doesn't allow for that scope though.

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Charles Nicol's avatar

It depends on your writing style. Poetry and stylized prose from stories by Fritz Lieber and Michael Moorecock are great references. Or even Shakespeare.

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Ilmahn Nabri's avatar

Big fan of Michael Moorcock's writing, Shakespeare too. I've heard of Fritz from Razor but never read his work, guess I should start, thanks for the suggestion.

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Charles Nicol's avatar

No problem. If you want easier material to study how different people would talk in various backgrounds try looking up british period pieces, Sharpe with Sean Bean is a great reference for a tv series about how a low born with no to some education would talk compared to a high born.

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