Good story, although the endjng lacked pathos for the narative, and there were too much descriptors between some dialogue exchanges. Otherwise well paced, it has a real quality.
I try to leave a lot of my short stories open for expansion but this one I was struggling a little on where to end it to stoke curiosity. I thought about expanding it a little further but I also try to work within set limitations.
I've been doing experimentations with style as far as the descriptors go as well as weaving in my own prose. That's a lot of what this is for me, to practice and experiment, which is why I appreciate your feedback on this.
Good story, although the endjng lacked pathos for the narative, and there were too much descriptors between some dialogue exchanges. Otherwise well paced, it has a real quality.
I try to leave a lot of my short stories open for expansion but this one I was struggling a little on where to end it to stoke curiosity. I thought about expanding it a little further but I also try to work within set limitations.
I've been doing experimentations with style as far as the descriptors go as well as weaving in my own prose. That's a lot of what this is for me, to practice and experiment, which is why I appreciate your feedback on this.
You’re welcome.